99 Problems But A Pitch Ain’t One

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I joined a kickball league with some friends. Two things you should know: 1.) When I say friends, I mean friends of friends of friends and my wife and mother-in-law, who are both quite athletic. 2.) I’m not very athletic, and trying to catch a wet, muddy rubber ball that’s just been booted by a 200-pound man only helps prove that.

We played our third game the other night, and I’m actually enjoying it. I played baseball as a kid but didn’t care for it, because there were so many rules—and the other boys on the team cried when they struck out or their moms didn’t buy them the right flavor sports drink, but that’s another article for another time—but in kickball, things are much simpler; kick the ball. I can do that, and I’m a decent runner so I can run the bases pretty well—after someone explained to me not to run on pop flies.

But the thing I’m enjoying most about the kickball league is the general attitude of the teams and players. Sports are competitive, and they tend to attract competitive people—but not so much with co-ed kickball. Co-ed kickball seems to be the sport of choice for middle-aged people that want to keep active, couples that want something fun to do during the week, and groups of friends that like sports and alcohol—but mainly just the alcohol.

Yeah, alcohol and sexual innuendos seem to comprise a large part of the kickball domain. There is a league rule against having alcoholic beverages at the games, but the rule of thumb seems to be “Out of sight, out of mind.”

But this sense of “We’re here to have fun first and play this game second” extends well beyond people’s little red cups. Apparently, the first step to cultivating a successful kickball team is an alcohol pun or sexual innuendo as your team name. My favorites so far are

  • Red Balls And Vodka
  • Pitches Be Loco
  • We’ve Got The Runs

After a solid name has been chosen, the next step to a winning kickball team is harassment—okay, we’re past the sexual content now, so this is just plain harassment, like name calling, finger pointing, and laughing.

It seems that every time someone misses a catch or stops running the bases for fear of getting tagged out, their teammates immediately begin jeering them. Not only is it unsportsmanlike but also it’s hilarious, and as long as there’s no foul language or insults between opposing teams, no one seems to mind.

The whole experience of this kickball league seems to be about having fun, and you just so happen to be kicking a ball. It’s a completely contrasted experience to the sports that I played and watched while in high school and college. It’s a lot of fun.

I think it’s concepts like that that we try to establish in our advertising. No one could sell me on kickball no matter how cutting edge the balls, uniforms, or field may be. None of that matters to me, and from watching the other teams I’ve played against, they don’t seem too concerned with sporting technology or competition when they’re out on that field, either.

So what keeps us coming back each week to play? Why did any of us sign up in the first place? Because there’s a deeper benefit to the game than just playing. We want to have fun. We want to spend an evening with old friends and get to know new ones. We want to see people get hit in the face with a muddy rubber ball.

I’d buy that.

What’s fun about your product or service? What can you do that will make people smile and think “I’m glad I’m a part of this”? That’s what you need to tell people about. That’s what people will spend their money on.

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